As I wake up to this day, I can hear my phone pinging one after another. It’s Mother’s Day. Text messages are coming in to wish me a beautiful day. I look at my phone there’s 23 text messages, I look forward to reading each one, somebody’s thoughtful words sent my way gives my heartContinue reading “Year 2 – Mother’s Day You’re Still Not Here”
I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m confused. I’m tired. I’m laughing. I’m hurt. I’m running. I’m frightened. I’m worried. Im trying. I’m uncertain. I’m exhausted. I’m crying. I’m scared. I’m anxious. I’m dreaming. I’m crazy. I’m hoping. I’m shocked. I’m smiling. I’m screaming. I’m lost. I’m praying. I’m Sorry.
Monday, Memorial Day, May 28, 2018, it was an ordinary afternoon. It was a good day, I had no complaints and life was feeling absolutely peaceful. remember thinking how good I felt, no complaints. We were happy as a family, everyone was healthy and I was looking forward to a huge celebration on August 31st.Continue reading “NINETNINED – Joe’s Story”
Today is our second Thanksgiving holiday, it’s quite obvious this feeling I woke up to comes from the absence of Joe. It’s every day I feel him not here but this second year holiday it’s painfully powerful. My thoughts are running fast and I’m thinking all over the place. He still not here. Self-talk kicksContinue reading “Pain & Joy – Thanksgiving 2019”
Life changes when grief enters and nothing is ever the same. Not even grief.
Last night I had the most beautiful dream. It was about Joe and he was here, alive. It felt very real, it was like he came to visit me for a while. I’ve had quite a few of these dreams over the past 14 months. My first dream happened on the night we found outContinue reading “I Had A Dream…..”
Project Grief | The Suarez Family: A Wedding to Remember – link to article: projectgrief.org/blog/123518/weddingtoremember Thru this world of grief I’ve met countless people who share this terrible pain of loss. Throughout my travels online, I came across a site titled, Project Grief and it caught my attention. I apparently caught the authors attention asContinue reading “Joe’s Remembrance Table”
Today I did some refreshing cleanup in Joe’s room. I vacuumed the carpet, dusted his furniture, wiped the dust off his shoes and clothes in his closet, and I put away his sunglasses that were on his desk. I don’t know why but I guess I got tired of them getting touched. So, I putContinue reading “Pieces of Anything”
Today is July 9, 2019, it’s my birthday. Year 2 without you here on this day. You were always so excited to be the first one to tell me Happy Birthday Momma. I can still hear your raspy loud voice. Then bragging to your sisters how you were the first to tell me, I literallyContinue reading “A Letter to My Son – July 9, 2019”